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[the_adjutant]

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Comments

un: diva | text - misfire

[colorature]

sometimes i think training an actual dog would be easier

[the_adjutant]

Hm? Do you need tips? I trained up Black Hayate pretty well.

[colorature]

you have a dog riza?
maybe...
do you think they would work on men

[the_adjutant]

Probably.

But then Black Hayate is smarter than most men in my estimation.

[colorature]

my boyfriend likes to pretend hes a dog

[the_adjutant]

[ Oh. OH. ]

Like Mister Sims and his cat thing? People pretend to be dogs?

Not that I'm judging.

[ This better not awaken anything in her. ]

[colorature]

kind of like that
sort of
i dunno he likes to bark during sex among other things
its ok you can judge a little
he deserves it

[the_adjutant]

Well.

What sort of training does he need?

[colorature]

well he drinks a lot
and comes home drunk a lot
he doesnt really like talking about feelings either
i know he tries to be better though

[the_adjutant]

have you tried swatting his nose with a newspaper?

[the_adjutant]

or rewarding him with a treat when he does well?

[colorature]

i havent tried swatting him
i bet he would be into it though
usually i end up rewarding him with sex

[the_adjutant]

right uh
what is he doing that you don't want him to do?

[ What is her life??? ]

[colorature]

well i wish he would drink less...

[the_adjutant]

Ah, well.

I'm not sure how best to deal with that, except maybe by making sure there's nothing to drink at your place.

Maybe reward him for staying sober?

[colorature]

i try to do that
i guess i can try to reward him more

[the_adjutant]

I'd say swat him on the nose when he misbehaves but I'm not sure that works well on men.

[colorature]

i'll do it anyway
and see how it goes

[the_adjutant]

Well, keep me posted.

[colorature]

i will

[the_adjutant]

Wonderful. Good luck.

[ Riza isn't sure what to think. Did she really just advise someone she met once on how to train her boyfriend as if he were a dog? This feels surreal. ]

[military_dog]

Hey, it's me.

The train I'm on has come to a halt, and the network is behaving strangely.

Are you alright?

[the_adjutant]

I'm fine. Somewhere in the Down. Having some trouble with these devices.

[military_dog]

What are you doing in the Down?

[the_adjutant]

I was on a train, heading to the community center for a self-defense training session.